Biggus dickus he has a wife

Scene What's So Funny About Biggus Dickus?

Life of Brian Script

The sketch:

trumpets

PONTIUS PILATE: Make one large living awea.

Life of brian quotes big gus dickus Not two or five or seven, but NINE, which he will wield on all wretched sinners, sinners just like you, sir, there, and the horns shall be on the head, with which he will What is he? See more gaps Learn more about contributing. Brian's mother : You're always on about it.

Ahh.

CENTURION: Hail Caesar.

PILATE: Hail.

CENTURION: Only one survivor, sir.

PILATE: Ah. Thwow him to the floor.

CENTURION: What, sir?

PILATE: Thwow him to the floor.

CENTURION: Ah.

whump

BRIAN: Aagh!

PILATE: Hmm. Now, what is your name, Jew?

BRIAN: 'Brian', sir.

PILATE: 'Bwian', eh?

BRIAN: No, no. 'Brian'.

slap

Aah!

PILATE: Hoo hoo hoo ho. The little wascal has spiwit.

CENTURION: Has what, sir?

PILATE: Spiwit.

CENTURION: Yes. He did, sir.

Life of brian quotes big gus dickus and friends Recently viewed. At that time, a friend shall lose his friend's hammer, and the young shall not know where lieth the things possessed by their fathers that their fathers put there only just the night before, about eight o'clock. What was his name? Stan : It's every man's right to have babies if he wants them.

PILATE: No, no. Spiwit, siw. Um, bwavado. A touch of dewwing-do.

CENTURION: Oh. Ahh, about eleven, sir.

PILATE: So, you dare to waid us.

BRIAN: To what, sir?

PILATE: Stwike him, Centuwion, vewy woughly!

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  • slap

    BRIAN: Aaah!

    CENTURION: Oh, and, uh, throw him to the floor, sir?

    PILATE: What?

    CENTURION: Thwow him to the floor again, sir?

    PILATE: Oh, yes. Thwow him to the floor, please.

    BRIAN: Aah!

    whump

    PILATE: Now, Jewish wapscallion.

    BRIAN: I'm not Jewish.

    I'm a Roman.

    PILATE: A Woman?

    BRIAN: No, no.

    Monty python quotes holy grail: Attendee : Brought peace? Ex-Leper : Jesus did, sir. Matthias : Could be worse. Take him away and release him.

    Roman.

    slap

    Aah!

    PILATE: So, your father was a Woman. Who was he?

    BRIAN: He was a centurion in the Jerusalem Garrisons.

    PILATE: Weally?

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    What was his name?

    BRIAN: 'Nortius Maximus'.

    CENTURION: Ahh, ha ha!

    PILATE: Centuwion, do we have anyone of that name in the gawwison?

    CENTURION: Well, no, sir.

    PILATE: Well, you sound vewy sure. Have you checked?

    CENTURION: Well, no, sir. Umm, I think it's a joke, sir, like, uh, 'Sillius Soddus' or 'Biggus Dickus', sir.

    GUARD #4:chuckling

    PILATE: What's so funny about 'Biggus Dickus'?

    CENTURION: Well, it's a joke name, sir.

    PILATE: I have a vewy gweat fwiend in Wome called 'Biggus Dickus'.

    GUARD #4:chuckling

    PILATE: Silence! What is all this insolence? You will find yourself in gladiator school vewy quickly with wotten behavior like that.

    BRIAN: Can I go now, sir?

    slap

    Aaah! Eh.

    PILATE: Wait till Biggus Dickus hears of this.

    GUARD #4:chuckling

    PILATE: Wight! Take him away!

    Life of brian quotes big gus dickus youtube Life of Brian is a Monty Python production dating back to of a hapless man mistaken as a Messiah. Man: Well, what about Wodewick, then? Have you checked? You gonna keep it in a box?

    CENTURION: Oh, sir, he-- he only--

    PILATE: No, no. I want him fighting wabid, wild animals within a week.

    CENTURION: Yes, sir. Come on, you.

    GUARD #4: Ha ha haa ha, ha ha ha. Hooo hooo hoo hoo. Hoo hoo

    PILATE: I will not have my fwiends widiculed by the common soldiewy. Anybody else feel like a little giggle when I mention my fwiend Biggus

    GUARD #1:chuckling

    PILATE: Dickus?

    GUARD #1:chuckling

    PILATE: What about you? Do you find it wisible when I say the name 'Biggus'

    GUARD #3:chuckle

    PILATE: 'Dickus'?

    GUARD #1 and GUARD #2:chuckling

    PILATE: He has a wife, you know. You know what she's called?

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  • She's called 'Incontinentia'. 'Incontinentia Buttocks'.

    GUARDS:laughing

    PILATE: Stop! What is all this?

    GUARDS: Ha, ha ha ha ha ha

    PILATE: I've had enough of this wowdy webel sniggewing behavior. Silence! Call yourselves Pwaetowian guards? You're not-- Seize him! Seize him! Blow your noses and seize him!